How I deal with HOMESICKNESS

Homesick...

This one word, I am pretty sure many of us have experienced it; Students on exchange, people going on expat missions, and works that demand you to travel. It came across my mind earlier today when I met other exchange students. I haven’t really been home for a long time, and everytime people asked me whether I have felt homesick, my answer would be, “Yeah, sometimes. But I get over it quickly”. Well, It’s true because I feel like I am always busy and engaged each and every day of my life. But when this feeling comes, you can’t really deny it, nor can you distract yourself to ignore it, because the minor thing  can get built up to a big block of desire to always seek something related to home. 

And of course this is not a fun feeling because you may end up spending so much money on snuggle pillow, giant teddy bear, cooking utensils, or even the last minute plane ticket! Haha, just kidding! Homesickness comes, even if it s just craving for a certain taste of home food (like me craving for sambal and nasi kuning, or sweet spicy soup noodle). It is like an empty space inside your chest that needs to be filled, so that you can move on with your life and function again to do work or study. It is pretty sad if you overthink it. Like, I must have missed so much moments at home for example when grandma got sick, birthdays, etc. The moments when you know that you’re supposed to be there, but instead you’re somewhere far chasing your dream or working your ass off for something bigger (well it ‘d better be!) And when you are back home, suddenly all your baby nephew or niece have grown up so fast and you just lost track , you forgot that they are growing too!

My ultimate solution for this is to EMBRACE IT. So here, let me share you some tips on how I usually deal with my homesickness.

1. Communicate and Socialize! – talk to people around you or talk to the people you have been thinking about or just send them text message, and if possible, skype them.  Once in my summer break recently, I missed my old friends back at home. One of them was getting married and I didn’t want to just wish her through facebook because I know that she valued our friendship more than I thought. So I message all of them, asking how ‘s life has been treating them, and stuffs. I bought many Vienna postcards and sent each of them. I enjoyed writing so much to each of them, letting them know that I am glad to have them as my friends. When they got it, they messaged me back and they didn’t expect it from me. But now, they will keep it forever and myself in their heart always.

2. Join the community of your home country – This one is easier when you’re a student or you can always search through facebook group, Internations. When I was in India, I tried getting involved in cultural events (food festival and traditional dance). It was mainly from the university but It is satisfying to just be able to speak your mother language to other people. I don’t really join the one in Vienna since there are only few Indonesian students here. But I attended events at the Embassy once a while, and get to know them too. I made friends with many people from Asia. I attended language sharing events, charity cooking, Erasmus events (though I am not one of them). Once I met an Italian girl at a Deutsch café, and we enjoyed having conversation about places and food in Italy. I talked about my holiday with my boyfriends and she talked about how much she missed home. So, there you go… Knowing that you can help someone who is going through homesickness is the bonus.

3. Cook your own home food – this is a must do thing in this list. You are the only one who knows the taste that you crave. Don’t be lazy, just get the ingredients from a particular store, or if it is so exotic, try find a substitute. Better if you cook not only for yourself, but let others taste your home food because through this you can share a memorable cultural experience too. You also practice your cooking skills. This is better than google “Indonesian restaurant in Vienna”. But, what if you fall sick and you crave home food so badly, but don’t have the energy to cook? well this is a bit tough. You have to gather some courage from within yourself. Either talk to your mom and ask what she cooked for the day (ask for pics) and tell her to keep the call on or put the video chat on so that you can talk to her while you gather your power to go to the kitchen and cook the simplest home food you can. In this way, you feel like someone at home is around. This is usually successful when your homesickness is behind your sickness. If you get sick simply, you may just want to call the pizza delivery place.

4. Be opened to making friends with anybody – Do you believe that you can actually find home in a person? Home is not just about a place or materials, worldly stuffs. But if you give it a chance to make friends and show your interest in sharing moments and whatever you have, you will find the home feeling in these people. You just have to be opened and treat them the way you wanna be treated as if when you are home. Treat them like your own brother or sisters. Talk to them about your and their own countries, and what they miss and like the most. When I was in India, I enjoyed spending my nights talking to the girls in the hostel, as we just created home in that whole building. From birthday surprises, movie nights, to horror pranks (thanks to Khadija who scared me with her Scream mask, and sorry I hit her on the face), at one point I felt like home there. Here in Vienna, I am glad that I found my closest friends who are also my classmates. And spending time with them is enjoyable, because from day one until now, I never feel like I should always try hard in front of them. I guess this is how we can be opened to make friendship, by not trying really hard but reveal the best of you.

5. Watch movies and listen to songs in your native language – One night I was playing some Indonesian songs continuously from my laptop and my roommate in the Hostel was curious. The next day she just unconsciously mumbled the melody of a song from Raisa. Well, the part when I listen music from my own country made me feel like I am sitting in my car and listening to the city radio. Just like home. When in Europe, I barely listen to one, but I made some writing in Indonesian.

6. Learn something new – apart from being so much consumed with uni works, I always try to keep myself occupied with something useful. I learn German, and use it many times when I am around the city. I also started to improve my writing skills (I wrote few poems and short stories too), eventhough it is just for fun, but I can keep a record of what I write and how I acknowledge my feelings when I wrote them. Just try to learn everything about the new place you are in. I learn how to cook spinat strudel, Knoedel, Goulash, and whatever possible Austrian dish I can cook. Back when I was in India, I also loved cooking curries, and I even made my own chappatis ( few times a week). I guess my time was worth spent for something that makes me feel great.

7. Find a nice spot in your current city where you can be connected with – to me a place that I keep to myself in Vienna is along the donau (stretched from Aspernbruecke to Heiligenstaedterbruecke). This is where I always jog and have the whole time to myself. Even when I have to stop in between, I know the road, bridges, and the graffiti on the wall. So I guess I just created a home for my jogging spot. This is for you to create your “me time”. It can be anywhere, like church, a park, the corner of a street, graveyards (spooky but can be calming sometimes). Because one day, you will look back and dream about those places that you have been in life. And once you have explored the local places, you can then claim yourself as a “local”. The positive thing is that, you can show people around the city, the place out of which you create home.

Finally, whatever way you choose to do, always embrace the feeling of missing home. Embrace it that you are aware of how you feel and that all of these are just temporary and soon you will be back home and be with people you care about. You will finish what you have started and achieve you career goal, take as much opportunities as you can in life.